Happy.

I am so happy these days.

I am experiencing a way things could be that I always always wished for but never really thought they existed.

The feeling I have when I am around Sir is so…..good.  It’s this weird combination of being nervous (in a good way) yet so very calm because I am so aware of my place, and it is a place I very much want to be.

On the weekend I spent the evening and then night with Sir and his primary partner.  It was an amazing night.  We didn’t all get naked together, lol so that wasn’t it – it was just so refreshingly lovely to be all together, no jealousy, no conflict, just affection and care and fun.  He is amazing at dividing and sharing his attention in a way that no one feels left out.  Even though yes, his gf is his primary and I am not I didn’t feel less significant in any way.  I care about them both, and I just love spending time together, the three of us.  To be able to just be totally open and understanding like that is something I have never experienced before.  For a whole night I was able to be ME, even the parts of me I have to keep hidden most days I didn’t have to.  And I got to do it with 2 people who made me feel that I was loved.

I know it’s been a while since I have written, life has been super busy for me lately, but I had to update.  Things are going so well.  I feel finally like I (the sub me) has a place to call home in a way.  I have a place where I am wanted, all the parts of me.  And that is so very special.

Something also has changed with Sir that last couple of times I have seen him.  It’s hard to explain and I am honestly trying to not think too hard about it and I am fighting the urge to label it, but it feels….different.  Something in him the way he acts towards me has….deepened.  Or something.  The kisses, the touches.  They are more frequent, lingering, tender.  I don’t know what it is but I am going to sit quietly and enjoy it and see what happens.

Happy happy subbie over here 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Happy.

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