It’s been a month since I have seen Sir. Ugh.
As you know I was having a really hard time earlier this week (Thanks Mother Nature) but I am feeling mostly over the crazies. A surprise late night text from Sir helped. Just to tell me he was thinking of me and wanted to touch base before he went away on a trip for a week. It’s amazing how just something little like that can help lift the fog and make me feel connected again 🙂
I am still jonesing for some, any, way to submit but I will just have to be patient until we can have that talk about tasks. I am both really excited and nervous about that. I have never done the task thing before, so I don’t know how I will respond to it. I tend to sometimes get caught up in feeling silly about certain things, although interestingly enough those are often the things that I think about and crave the most. I have written about submissive poses before and how I absolutely love them but I also really struggle when Sir asks me to name and demonstrate them for him. I almost feel as though I am performing for him. D/s carries so many odd dichotomies like that doesn’t it? I think the allure is it is doing the things that make me the most uncomfortable, the ones that stretch me personally like that (in a good way) that I feel the most submissive. I have a feeling that tasks will have a similar effect. Or at least I hope they do. I just want to make sure that this is something he will derive some satisfaction or enjoyment from. If it is going to just be a chore than I don’t want that at all.
Sir’s girlfriend/sub and I have plans for the weekend – I really enjoy her company, although I don’t exactly know where it is going or what her expectations are, but I am looking forward to continuing to get to know her better in any event.
So that’s about it for me today folks, nothing new to report on the D/s level this week unfortunately. Hoping that will change sooner rather than later!