Can a girl just get a little attention over here?!

Another venting post, sorry.  I have a feeling there will be more of these to come during this long intermission before I can see Sir again and get my inner subbie back to her happy place.

I am having a really hard day.  I have realized that I am PMS-ing (TMI? lol) and that when I am PMS-ing I have an impossible time regulating my emotions and this edgy, lost feeling becomes overwhelming. 😦

I can’t bear the thought of another 3 plus weeks going by without seeing him and getting my submissive on but I know I will have to.  There literally won’t be any way to fit anything in before then due to conflicting travel plans on both our parts.  So certainly no one is to blame.  But it freaking sucks!

It is only times like these that I struggle with, not jealousy, but envy of Sir’s relationship with his primary.  I don’t want what they have, per say, I just am feeling down and all over the place and I don’t know how to reach out to him to tell him so when a. it won’t make any difference as we can’t see each other for a few weeks anyway, b. he can’t “fix” my hormones and c. I don’t feel like my inability to compartmentalize properly for a few days is his problem.  So yeah.  When I hear about the time that they get to have together it makes me feel a little blue.  Ok, a LOT blue this time of the month.

With my last relationship, while we have established that it was extremely dysfunctional much of the time, I have to give him credit for being very understanding of me during this time of the month.  If I told him I was an emotional wreck due to hormones he always made an effort to either come over and snuggle, or if he couldn’t he would call me.  This isn’t me reminiscing, just recognizing that this was something that helped me feel better.  Maybe one day when things aren’t so new Sir and I will get to a place where I feel comfortable reaching out to him during times like these.  I just utterly hate how irrationally emotional I am during this time and I do NOT want to be the needy sub.

I feel almost like I have a case of sub-drop.  This is clearly not the case but I still feel a bit lost, all the same.  God what I wouldn’t give for some serious impact play and snuggles right about now.

I also don’t have anyone I can really talk to about this who would understand other than Sir’s primary, who I really don’t think would want to hear me pine for her boyfriend, no matter how close her and I have grown lately lol.  So you, my poor blogging friends get to hear me whine and moan.  Lucky you! 😉

Just me, having a pity party table of one over here.


23 thoughts on “Can a girl just get a little attention over here?!

      1. I’ve had that happen to me, it’s awful. I’ve also had to hide it from my kids. My last bout of sub drop was horrific. After a great weekend, that included some very emotional talks, when it hit me, it literally floored me…and it wanted to start while I was in the middle of a 5 hour drive with my kids. We’re working to have that *not* happen again.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Hugs.
    I’m PMSing as well, and if it makes you feel any better, I just got done being an overly emotional wreck all over my Master … I don’t want to say it doesn’t make a difference? But, hormones are hormones, evil bastards.
    Sending positive energy your way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you lovely 🙂 I just hate being a whiny needy person. But dammit I can’t seem to help it. I’m sure if I told Sir I was struggling and could use a phone call he would be happy to oblige but I just hate to bother him with it. Sigh

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Happens to the best of us! Hopefully you’re like me and writing a post about it helps to get a little bit of it out of your system – or at least make a decision about whether or not you feel strongly enough about it to do something!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Stay strong! Hormones sure can be sub-droppy feeling sometimes. Hopefully it’s like spanking to you, as soon as it’s over, you would forget the pain and can enjoy the pleasure that comes after it. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. hugs from me too! i totally understand what you are feeling as i am going through sort of the same thing (even having a sister slave who sees Master more often than i). but i am breathing and figuring things out… i know you will too. xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “impact play and snuggles” I laughed at the irony but completely understand! Hate those irrational hormonal moments… universal cruelty to women!!! Who’s idea was this?!?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh delicious creature… Master gave me a task this summer – He finally took a much needed holiday and I had to take my daughter to Greece to see her father…

    I’d hoped His task would be naughty… But no, it was a serious one… meditation and mindfulness… pah I thought… But actually – and I am right in the middle of my red moon. For the first time in 5 years I have easily managed to keep things in perspective – I have stopped stressing and worrying and putting things in my head that should not be there. Except maybe for last night when I totally lost my temper over P’s dad. But I think He would understand – Master that is not twat man. And instead of letting twat man consume me for days on end – I wrote a very very angry blog – a lot of swearing – I don’t swear… And then put all that crap in the bin where it belongs.

    Master was right – we have four days left – and then back home to blighty. I have not seen Him for… five weeks – not unusual – and have heard from Him twice – again, not unusual – but what is unusual is this – I do miss Him terribly, but I have stopped hurting. I know He loves me and that is enough to keep me. His birthday present to me was my left nipple and clit piercing – which I simply adore – and cannot wait till He sees and plays with – He was on an airplane to Auz while they were being done…

    You are so very welcome to talk – my email address is in my ‘about’ thing… I am a good listener and I have a good and gentle heart.

    Be well – and be gentle with yourself – my door is akways open… Right now I have no doors as I sleep on deck on the boat – no room for me in the boat… so if you’d like – I am here x

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I really did not think His task would be helpful…my mind is a very messy place to be – but like everything He asks of me – He was right… (a little annoying… as I thought I was right…) darling – your an awesome girl x

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s