Sorry friends! It’s been a while since I have written. Actually I have not come even nearly close to my personal commitment of blogging daily. Honestly I think I would probably bore you all to tears if I did LOL. My day to day life is not all that edge-of-your-seat exciting!
I blogged briefly about Sir having me at his feet, head in his lap while he asked about my day. It was a turning point in my submission. I can’t quite explain it, but it felt so amazing to be in that position, having his hands stroke my hair with so much tenderness while he expressed interest in the mundane moments of my day. I felt submissive and so so calm. Honestly if that was all we did that day that would have been enough for me. I want to feel very much in my place. I think that is why I love the poses so much, nothing hammers home my position as something like that. I feel obedient and on display for him and while it makes me blush from my head to my feet I love every single second of it.
I was away for a week on vacation and received a surprise text from him telling me he was thinking of me and just wanted to say hello. I had been having a bad day. I was grumpy and homesick and strangely feeling almost sub droppy. I don’t know why as almost a week had gone by since we played but that is the best way I can describe my mood. I was feeling insecure in my place with Sir and wondering if I was truly important to him at all. There was no reason to make me feel this way but I did anyway. But then, as if he could sense my mood from hundreds of miles away he sent me that message. And all was right in my world again.
I also got the surprise that I may get to see him this weekend, even though I didn’t expect to for another 2 or 3 weeks. So I am a very happy subbie at this point!
Last date Sir had me in some very interesting bondage that had me completely immobilized. And he used a multitude of instruments on me but what had me almost safe-wording surprisingly enough was a wartenburg wheel! He has used one on me before but I have now learned that there are many different kinds, some much much more evil LOL. The first time it wasn’t uncomfortable at all, and I remember thinking what is the big deal with these things? But then this last time OH MY GOD. It felt like I was being sliced with a hot knife. Or what I imagine being sliced with a hot knife would feel like. And try as I might I was not able to squirm away from this now much hated object and it had me almost crying it was so intense. I had NO idea. I didn’t safe word, although damn did I come close. I am pretty sure I don’t like those things. I am considering telling Sir that maybe he should keep those on the punishment only shelf, lol. Not that we have a punishment dynamic (I’m a good girl 😉 ) but it is something that won’t make me safeword but I definitely do not like! That being said I still enjoyed every second of our date because it was new, I learned something about myself and I was proud that I was able to endure it for him without breaking down. Much.
Sir also stayed true to his commitment of spending more time with me, we actually fell asleep all wrapped up in each other afterwards which was a surprise lol, but lovely 🙂
I can’t wait to see him next. I am definitely becoming attached. Not in a crazy can’t live without you in love kind of way but in an affectionate, caring, very much ‘in-like” kind of way which is much healthier and lovely for me 🙂