It’s been waaaaaay too long since I have been able to be lost (and found) in my submission.
I know that many of you are in long distance relationships or for other reasons are not able to see your D-type very often, but for me, 2 weeks is about my max. I respect you so much for that – I am not sure I could do it. It’s been 3 weeks for me now. And boy am I feeling it.
The good news is I only have to wait another 2.5 days until I see Sir and I can’t wait. This will be the first time we play since laying all the cards out on the table. I look forward to being able to play without all of that junk floating around in my brain. To be able to relax into my submission knowing that all is well, that we are on the same page, and knowing that if I am able to fully let go and end up with possible subdrop as a result that he will be there for me. I am also really looking forward to this time because it comes with the promise of hang out time afterwards so things won’t be rushed, we can take our time. Yay!
How does going past your personal no play time limit affect you?
I know for me, I feel restless, antsy and cranky. The craving for me is visceral. I can literally almost taste it. It’s like something is constantly missing. The princess and the pea effect – no matter how many mattresses you pile up on things you can still feel that damned pea. And it just makes you….uncomfortable. That’s how I feel.
As far as “kinks” go I think I miss impact play the most. From spanking to flogging to caning – impact play is one of my must-have kinks. I adore it and how it makes me feel. But I will admit that since seeing Sir the things I crave have changed up a bit – the things that pop into my head and bring me momentarily to my submissive head space are changing. While yes, I absolutely miss the impact play and the bondage – and I really really want some good lasting marks after next date, that’s not all I miss, or even at the forefront. Lately, what I find popping into my head are…positions. Poses. Now I know that submissive poses are sometimes considered pretty oldschool and I read on fet all kinds of subs who scoff at the idea, but Sir is into it big time, and is teaching me exactly what pose he expects on a word. And I freaking ADORE this. I would have never thought that this part of our play would become so important to me, but there is something about the obedience, the formality of posing in a desired way that immediately makes me very aware of my place, and sets the tone of our time together. At the same time giving me a weird almost embarrassed tingly feeling that I have never experienced before but am really really enjoying. It has the same effect on me as simply calling him “Sir”. It is something I have never done before and it gives me a weird but delicious feeling. These are the things incorporated in our play that makes me feel like a sub as opposed to a bottom, which for my personal experience is important. Oh how things have changed for me compared to my last bdsm relationship.
Change. Change is very very good.