So this has been a good week for a multitude of reasons.
Work has been going more smoothly than it has in a while thank goodness, so I haven’t had that chicken with it’s head cut off feeling. We are settling into Summer vacation mode quite nicely too and I am enjoying more time with my family, lots of backyard time, gardening and the like.
Mostly though, Sir and I have had a good talk, face to face and got things out on the table and sorted. The talk happened a couple of days earlier than expected, which was great (less time to fret and worry!) and all in all I am feeling much calmer.
I was able to lay out exactly what I needed and tried to explain why I had been feeling a bit un-cared for, which he admitted he could totally understand. He stated that he does indeed care for, like and respect me and that he was very happy to hear the specific things I need to feel cared for so that he can do his best to provide those things – all of which he says he has no problem with providing. So I think that for the foreseeable future, we are on the same page. I will get more one on one vanilla time (mostly post play which is when I need it most – but other times as well schedules permitting), and also have the option to let him know any time I am struggling with subdrop or anything else and that he is happy to provide reassurance in those times. And that he never thought of me as “just a play thing”, hence the reason he has made an effort to introduce me to is friends etc. I know I won’t have any issues with affection (another one of my “needs”) because he has always been very affectionate when we are one on one.
We both agreed that we probably should have discussed this a few months ago when we started on this journey, but better late than never LOL. In this case, it has all turned out OK. But I would definitely recommend those starting out, to discuss not only your limits and kinky compatibility but also what happens when you are not “playing” and making sure your expectations match up. Doing that would have cause me so much less anxiety and inner turmoil this last month or so.
Talking it out has made me feel a million times better and I am looking forward to continuing to explore my submission fully now that I know that the man I am exploring it with is someone who wants to hear what is going on in my head and is interested and caring for me as a person, both vanilla and submissive.
So yay me! (Hopefully a more “sexy” post to come soon, fingers crossed!)