Wearing Your Marks

Because I don’t get to see Sir very frequently (right now we are averaging every other week or so) it leaves me a lot of time to think.  I haven’t decided if this is good or bad lol but it is what it is.  I am truly happy at how much I am learning about myself since meeting him though.  I know that being a Dom must be a lot of work, but it seems so effortless to him in the moment.  That inner confidence that radiates from him, the way he is able to express his desires with a word, a whisper.  It makes me respond instantly.

One thing I have been thinking about lately is why having marks, bruises, welts, whatever is so special to me.  So important.

There’s the obvious that it serves as a lovely reminder of our time together.  And it does – every time I sat down today I was instantly taken back to that time when I was squirming under his hands/paddles/cane.  It makes it a bit hard to concentrate to be honest, but it is so so worth the distraction lol.  (and the masochist in me enjoys the little shivers of discomfort)

But it is more than that for me.  There is something so incredibly intimate about wearing the mark of someone.  It stays with me for days, a mark of being claimed, a reminder of how he took his pleasure from my body, a mark of my submission.  It centers me, calms me, makes me feel…….right.  Grounded.  It brings me back not just to the acts of that day but to the intimacy shared.  The power exchanged.  The trust I placed in his hands that day.  The fact that I am still feeling discomfort makes me feel as though I continue to submit and endure for him even though we are apart.  I hold onto that.

I have been working up the courage to ask if Sir would be interested in finding a way to help me feel as though I am submitting to him during the times between dates when I can’t see him.  I feel submissive to him, but without a way to express that I feel a bit lost.  Like I am hungry but with no food.  A dog without a bone, so to speak.  I don’t like how that feels.  Maybe a small daily task or something would help be feel calmer in between.  Anyone else feel this way?  What did you do to help that?

Sir is about to become really super busy over the next 6 weeks or so due to personal and family obligations, he seems confident that we can fit in a few dates, but it won’t be often and I think having a way to feel like I am still submitting to him will help me stay grounded in the interim. I dunno.  I am not sure still where his thoughts are so I don’t know what he would think of that.

But for now, for this week anyway, my butt and the backs of my thighs are feeling it so this subbie is content for now 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Wearing Your Marks

  1. I’m with you. I love having Sir’s mark on me. It’s a reminder of an enjoyable moment, but more than that, it shows His ownership. It’s something I don’t think outsiders would understand. I don’t know what it is to be apart from Sir for extended periods of time. That must be hard, but it sounds like he is sensitive to your feelings. Hopefully you’ll get some quality time even if it isn’t quantity for a while. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wearing Sir’s marks or feeling particularly sore after He’s used me (days after even) is such a special, personal note. It’s almost like the submissive badge of honor; not only being able to take the lovely use of our Dominants, but also adoring the way they use us…and savoring that memory. Love this post, very relatable. (Sir and I have been too busy for scenes lately…and I miss His marks.)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yes, I love when my Master, or my boyfriend has left bruises on me (my hubby too, but that’s way fewer and far between).
    Small tasks between visits do help me, but I still get that lost feeling quiet often.
    I seem to have gotten to have a great deal of patience, but it still wears thin at times.
    I felt I could have written this post myself!

    Liked by 1 person

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