So I have a question that I would love to hear from my lovely readers (both Dominant and submissive alike) on. (Oh and can I say wow! How crazy is it that there are people who read this!? Wild, I am honored)
My question is about asking questions. Well, making a request more like. Expressing a desire. I am craving something from Sir and I am not sure how to go about asking for it. On the one hand, I know communication is important, especially in our lifestyle, and Sir has always thanked me when I’ve been able to open up about how I am feeling about something, or revealed anything personal about myself.
But on the other hand what I am struggling with is my desire for this being at war with my desire to just please him and not knowing if this would, indeed, please him. Bear with me, my arousal is at an all time high the closer I get to seeing him so I may not make much sense for my brain is creeping closer and closer to my vagina.
Maybe I should explain! Sir is big into spanking. Impact play in general, but lots and lots of spanking. I think this is my all time favorite – which is quite the revelation because this is not something that I enjoyed nearly as much in my last relationship (so goes the difference between real Doms and fake ones huh). But I absolutely love the intimacy of a spanking with Sir. And I want it bad. I know without a doubt I will have a good spanking coming to me, I’d be willing to put money on it. And it may just be a case of me being impatient (hmmmm there seems to be a trend here. greedy greedy subbie!) but I want to be spanked until I can’t take it any more. I want to be pushed right to my threshold. I want to endure more and more.
Now, to be fair, the last spanking was amazing. Much more intense than the one before and I think I wrote about how I was bruised a bit afterwards. I was in NO way unsatisfied. But I have this desire to submit to more. Maybe to prove myself? No, that doesn’t sound right but…..something. I want to earn those good girl s.
But I don’t know if he would enjoy that. And I don’t know how to broach the topic – is it maybe too soon? Is he maybe working up to it? This is not something that is a deal breaker, I more just find myself trusting him so much and wanting to please him so much I would love to see what I am capable of and where I am capable of going with this – does that make sense? Although I am well aware I may be just jumping the gun a bit and that we are still getting to know each other but I just feel…..ready.
How do you, as a sub, get over the feeling that asking for something just doesn’t feel…submissive? Why do I feel like if I am enjoying it so much I must not be submitting as much? Fack. I am just a jumbled mess in my head right now. Maybe I just need an intense session to help calm my mind and feel grounded.
And Doms what do you think? Would you consider it “topping from the bottom” or would you be pleased to hear something like this?
I almost wish Sir read this blog – I have such a hard time with these conversation in person. LOL
Thanks blogger friends xo