Your Thoughts Please?

So I have a question that I would love to hear from my lovely readers (both Dominant and submissive alike) on.  (Oh and can I say wow!  How crazy is it that there are people who read this!? Wild, I am honored)

My question is about asking questions.  Well, making a request more like. Expressing a desire.  I am craving something from Sir and I am not sure how to go about asking for it.  On the one hand, I know communication is important, especially in our lifestyle, and Sir has always thanked me when I’ve been able to open up about how I am feeling about something, or revealed anything personal about myself.

But on the other hand what I am struggling with is my desire for this being at war with my desire to just please him and not knowing if this would, indeed, please him.  Bear with me, my arousal is at an all time high the closer I get to seeing him so I may not make much sense for my brain is creeping closer and closer to my vagina.

Maybe I should explain!  Sir is big into spanking.  Impact play in general, but lots and lots of spanking.  I think this is my all time favorite – which is quite the revelation because this is not something that I enjoyed nearly as much in my last relationship (so goes the difference between real Doms and fake ones huh).  But I absolutely love the intimacy of a spanking with Sir.  And I want it bad.  I know without a doubt I will have a good spanking coming to me, I’d be willing to put money on it.  And it may just be a case of me being impatient (hmmmm there seems to be a trend here. greedy greedy subbie!) but I want to be spanked until I can’t take it any more.  I want to be pushed right to my threshold. I want to endure more and more.

Now, to be fair, the last spanking was amazing.  Much more intense than the one before and I think I wrote about how I was bruised a bit afterwards.  I was in NO way unsatisfied.  But I have this desire to submit to more.  Maybe to prove myself?  No, that doesn’t sound right but…..something.  I want to earn those good girl s.

But I don’t know if he would enjoy that.  And I don’t know how to broach the topic – is it maybe too soon?  Is he maybe working up to it?  This is not something that is a deal breaker, I more just find myself trusting him so much and wanting to please him so much I would love to see what I am capable of and where I am capable of going with this – does that make sense?  Although I am well aware I may be just jumping the gun a bit and that we are still getting to know each other but I just feel…..ready.

How do you, as a sub, get over the feeling that asking for something just doesn’t feel…submissive?  Why do I feel like if I am enjoying it so much I must not be submitting as much?  Fack.  I am just a jumbled mess in my head right now.  Maybe I just need an intense session to help calm my mind and feel grounded.

And Doms what do you think?  Would you consider it “topping from the bottom” or would you be pleased to hear something like this?

I almost wish Sir read this blog – I have such a hard time with these conversation in person. LOL

Thanks blogger friends xo

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23 thoughts on “Your Thoughts Please?

  1. I’m a switch, so maybe you want my opinion, maybe not lol. Here it is if you want it. I believe it is good to wait for the right time to talk about these things. I like to wait until we are settled and then i nestle myself at his feet and ask if it is a good time to talk about something that is on my mind. I then try to explain as clearly as I can what I want. To me, the difference between communication and topping from the bottom is expectation. When I communicate, I am simply expecting to be heard and understood. I realize I may not get my way and I listen to his reason why or why not. When someone is topping from the bottom (imo) they expect to get their way and then act poorly when they don’t.
    If it’s hard to talk about it, maybe you could print this and ask him to read it. Sometimes, I get all jumbled and the words don’t come out right, so I write it down and have him read it. I usually worry far more than I should over these things lol. Anyways, best wishes 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you and yes of course I want your advice lol I appreciate it. And that’s a good way to put it. I don’t “expect” anything, I just want to be open and let him know I am ready for more if he wants to give it to me. And yes, I am an over-thinker so I am sure I am worrying for nothing. I guess I just want to get it right, you know? lol thx for your advice, it means a lot!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. OMG I have been wondering how to ask Mr. D the exact same thing!

    I’m totally with you. I love what he does and how. I don’t want to appear ungrateful or less submissive so I haven’t asked either.

    But oh I would love to be pushed to the edge with spanking.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The couple of true Dom’s I know build up slowly as they get to know you. I’ve just left each play session with feedback, if something could go harder, what I liked or didn’t (though I haven’t not liked anything as of yet). If you haven’t already, discuss your last sessions, and let him know that you want to be pushed. It could be that he’s just wanting to ease into things as you both get to know each other.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I remember reading about your first date with your Dom that you went through a checklist, I don’t remember whether you have described what was the list like. I know some that are mainly used to map out soft and hard limits, but some have rating system on them too. If you are willing to do something, you can rate it 1 to 5, how much you like spanking for example. That’s one of the great ways to let your Dom know how much you like something.

    You can just talk it through him. I do it on casual setting, not during play cos sometimes expressing my desire verbally during play… well, I just can’t do it naturally. Of course, during play it wouldn’t hurt to beg. 🙂

    My Dom told me to feel free to express my desires, what I would want to try, and he will file it all away in his head, and maybe do them to me when I least expect it. Oh, these kind of surprises I love. 😛 My Dom reads my blog, so I would soon start to write about my wants ‘Fetish of the Week’ style. So when you’re ready someday to let your Sir read your blog, I’m sure he would enjoy these ‘winks’ immensely. 🙂

    Hope this helps! I love reading your blog! It’s just you’re reading my mind sometimes and blog exactly what’s in my head 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw thank you! This blog really is just a way for me to get the more intense thoughts and feelings out of my head. The little community here though has been wonderful and totally unexpected though! I’m so grateful for your feedback 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. As a dominant I will answer in this way:

    I want to know what my submissive wants but I don’t want to be told how to deliver it. When you have the _balls_ to say

    I want to be spanked until I can’t take it any more. I want to be pushed right to my threshold. I want to endure more and more.

    and then tell me that it is up to me what I do with that thought, you have done what you need to do. I will ask questions as I need to ask them. I will deliver as I see fit. If you decide to withhold this desire from me then I might find reason to be angry. You owe it to your dominant to explain what you desire, what you want and do not want. Let your dominant decide what to do with it after that.

    Liked by 6 people

  6. A simple…..if I may ask sir…..then give him your request. Be open and honest with your needs and since you are new I’m sure he will want to hear it. Also Sir would ask me to write out a scene for him (a few in this blog). Writing your dreams and fantasies gives him a much deeper look into exactly where you are in your need to submit and how you are progressing in your desires and kinks.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Even if he is your Dom, he’s still a person and you two are still in a relationship. I don’t know if you guys are 24/7 or not, but I always believe in allowing for space to not be on, meaning there’s space where you aren’t adhering to the D/s dynamic and speaking more on equal ground. Just a thought.

    Other than that, there really is nothing wrong with asking your Dom for something. You want to please him, but he wants to please you too and I’m sure he’d be happy to hear what he can do to keep his submissive happy. Don’t be afraid 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Lol, sounds like you are in the grip of sub-frenzy.
    For me, I just ask nicely. I still feel like I’m topping from the bottom, and it makes The Judge laughs because I’m so paranoid about that.
    But I agree with the above, I can articulate myself much better in writing, plus it is more formal and ritualistic for me. I’m even going to get some sealing wax and a seal to make it more … Formal.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hmmm….when I had this particular need (something that does occasionally still happen) I told Sir that I needed my limit pushed during spanking, that I adored the way He spanked me, that He was indeed excellent at it, and that I wanted Him to go harder and for longer. Being open and honest isn’t always easy for me, but I’m one of those that tends to hold things in until they’re bubbling out of me, so Sir appreciates when I come to Him before I informationally explode. He took my request for more, harder spanking sessions and has adjusted His power accordingly. I have had a few delicious sessions now where I have had to use my safe word, which was just lovely for Us both. Open and honest at the right place and time make all the difference in the world. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you 🙂 I think the consensus is that I should just tell Sir my desire and leave it up to him whether or not he grants it. I’m certainly in no way unsatisfied I just want to take more for him. I want to submit on a deeper level. Ugh maybe I’m just super sub-horny! Lol

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Aww, I understand. My Sir is much more of a Sadist than my current masochistic tendencies, so I’m always searching to go harder, take more. Luckily Sir knows my reactions and body language very well and will stop before He really hurts me, even if I haven’t used my safe word yet. Sometimes that’s really frustrating but I understand that He doesn’t want to permanently hurt me and that He does go harder and longer than He has before, so I must be patient for my tolerance to build, despite my mind racing ahead. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No its not that. Things are very very new with me and Sir and so far things are wonderful. I fully understand the sub has the power. But I don’t agree we are actors, that’s all. This means more to me. I was only asking for advice because things are so new and I wanted to hear how other subs had adressed this type of thing. Sir has said he always wants to know what’s on my mind but I didn’t know how to ask for something without it sounding like I was unsatisfied in some way, which isn’t the case at all. I do appreciate your input though.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes. It means a lot to me too. 🙂 I didn’t mean actors like in a film. I meant participants in a relationship (something shared). Sorry my bad.
        I think submission is the truest and most beautiful form of love there is. And very much a gift. I really wish you all the best of luck on your journey. May your Dom always be the equal of you.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. To me, topping from the bottom is okay to a certain extent. It’s up to the Dom to say when it’s enough.
    If you want something you desire, you should ask in a respectful way.
    Sir/Master/Daddy may I ask you something?
    Will you consider…
    Communication is the key.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Communication, commutation, and communication is always and should always been be first and foremost. I’m no where close to being the most experienced Dom by any means. But I will tell you that if you communicate, you both grow closer and stronger in this lifestyle! But most of all you will be able to give yourself completely and totally to your Dom and he’ll be able to do the same for you. I love it when My Good Girl ask me for special things! Fantasy writing is always away to break the ice. Not only that, but it drives me crazy listing to My Good Girl reading it to me. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. i may be outside the “norm” whatever that is….but Master and i believe in communication. He feels (and i agree) that discussion before a session lessens the possibility of topping from below. With that in mind, perhaps showing pictures to Your Master and asking for discussion time might be a way to start.

    As for limits, i am going to be addressing a non-traditional (safe words) way to approach limits during sessions on my blog. i detest safe words and refuse to use them; this method allows Your Dom/me to know your current level and make the decision to move forward or not. It completely removes the possibility of topping from below!

    Like

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