It’s been a couple days since my last date with Sir. I am happy to report I have lasting marks this time yay! I love having those reminders left, I can’t seem to stop looking at them, poking them too feel their tenderness and noticing every time my clothes rub against them, the way they seem to heat up. Sigh. The bottoms of each butt cheek is where I am feeling it the most, every step I take and every time I sit down, they sting, and the mottled red and purple marks are beautiful – even if I do have to get in some rather interesting positions to be able to see them in front of the mirror! This spanking was definitely much more intense, I don’t know all the implements used, but laying across his lap and taking it for him was a beautiful thing for me. Some definitely hurt a lot!
It also felt good to face by body issues head on (I had no other choice really lol) and every time it crept into my mind while playing it only lasted a second or two before it was driven from my head with a re-focusing on pleasing him. Having me bare, totally, in front of him, having the part of my body I hate in his hands, that WAS pleasing to him. And it would be undermining him to think or feel otherwise. It was wonderfully freeing.
There were so many other firsts for me that day, it’s mind boggling and overwhelming in the best way possible. And I got a chance to essentially worship his body from head to toe which was wonderful and beautiful because it felt so positively submissive and unselfish – to focus on him so intently like that and know that I was pleasing him – it was a much more tangible submission.
I am struck with not wanting to divulge all the details as this time felt so….personal. I want to hold onto that. I am also struggling a bit with it – I feel, and I don’t know what I feel and I don’t know where to put these feelings. It’s uncomfortable and scary.
The day after, once the elation died down I experienced I guess a sort of sub drop. I never hit sub space, not truly, although I am definitely close, but I feel…..weird the day after all the same. I was so distracted at work that I hardly got anything done, every time I felt one of my little reminders it would jolt me right back into the scene and I would find myself blushing and wet, and feeling oh so submissive, all over again. It was lovely, don’t get me wrong, but also very distracting! I also had NO appetite. Anyone else experience this? I literally had to force myself to eat. I feel a bit more normal today.
Anyway, now another excruciating 10 days until I see him again. I may explode before then LOL I can’t wait.