I am all over the place today. First, I am super stiff, unfortunately no visual souvenirs from last night but my shoulder and hip joints are super sore, most likely from holding certain positions on command for lengthy periods of time and from straining against my bonds while being flogged. 🙂 I love being stiff the next day.
I did have a bit of a feeling of being unsure/insecure this morning. I hate that, why can’t I just bask in that happiness a bit longer? But I did have a feeling of “what happens now” this morning. Or those feelings (that a lot of subs have sometimes I think) of I can’t believe that happened, and while I am super thrilled, my feelings totally hinge on how HE feels about it.
Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and I texted him, confessing that I was feeling a bit unsure this morning but not trying to be clingy/needy. Maybe I was a bit sub-droppy, I dunno. I received a lovely, and long text back from him. He explained what a great time he had, what specifically about me, my reactions etc that he liked the most and turned him on the most and that I need not have any doubts as far as he was concerned. *grin*. Obviously it is a bit early in the game to have any “feelings”, and that is not where it was coming from on my end, but that desire to please carried over today and I was desperate to know, in specific words, that I did indeed please him.
In part I think as well it was the fact that, while I had a long term D/s relationship it was so unbelievably different that I felt completely and totally new last night. The way Sir approached the entire process was so completely alien to me that my head was spinning throughout the night, I was forced to completely focus on my submission that it left no room in my head for anything else. I don’t think I have ever felt that way. Even the act of calling someone “Sir” was totally new for me. I needed approval today that I, well, did a good job for him. I was/am so grateful for how understanding he was of my nerves, at his mastery of building up my arousal to an unbelievable fever pitch that I would have done anything in the moments where he wasn’t touching me, to get him to touch me. And I have never, in my entire life wanted a spanking more.
I hope we can schedule another date soon, I want more of that delicious torment he is so damn good at delivering.