Born Again BDSM Virgin

So I rejoined FetLife after a long hiatus.  I didn’t feel the need to meet anyone else obviously when I was with my ex.  I was content, and being shy, joining the “community” on my own seemed to big a feat for me to attempt.

But, finding myself Dom-less I re-joined.  Really with no expectations, but maybe secretly hoping that I might be one of the lucky ones who meets someone special.

If you aren’t part of the kink community, let me tell you, it ain’t easy being a sub.  Not to be judgmental but I am still fairly young at 34, I look in my late 20’s and while I won’t be sauntering down any catwalks anytime soon after 2 kids, LOL, I am attractive.  The vast majority of “Doms” online are either too young (I am sorry but I just can’t submit and rely on someone who is in their early 20’s – not at my age.  But that’s a personal preference) or waaaaay too old.  I HAVE to be physically attracted to my man.  I know some subs don’t, and it’s purely about the submission for them, but for me, submission is also highly sexual.  I need to feel HEAT.  I need to feel passionate.  I need to want him to kiss me so badly I will do anything he asks of me just to feel his lips on mine.  Crushing me.  There are also a huge percentage of penis pics.  Seriously guys?  When are you going to learn?  God I have seen so many cocks online they are all starting to look the same.  Nice dick, but who the hell are YOU?  I need to know my Dom, the person, the man behind the title.  A nice penis is, well, nice – but remove it from the man and it’s nothing more then a floppy dildo.

Then, thank you universe, I saw HIM.  Shiver.  First, his pic was a normal picture.  Of him.  Doing something while he was on vacation.  I checked out his profile and was instantly interested.  His Dommmmness? came across right away.  The confidence, the self assured way he wrote without being cocky.  I liked him right away.  And oh did I mention – HAWT.  Super sexy, pretty much exactly my type, right down to the color of his skin. YUM.

Now I am shy.  Like super, blushing and stammering in the corner kinda shy when it comes to men.  Thank god I am submissive, so the men in my life have almost always been assertive Dom or at the very least Top-types who pretty much just grab me and make me forget how shy I am.  But this was the great and powerful internet.  I needed to reach out to him.  I wanted to know more.  My curiosity was peaked and my subbie was wolf whistling in the background.  So I messaged him.  A stupid little hello message.  Literally I think my message said the word “hello” like, 3 or 4 times. *facepalm

But he wrote back and we have now been corresponding for a couple of weeks.  I will refer to him as Sir on here.  I have never called anyone Sir before.  My ex was casual with the titles, in the moment it was “Daddy” but  it wasn’t formal.  This is.  It is intriguing how it makes me feel.  Weird.  Hard to describe.  Just calling him Sir via text makes me simultaneously embarrassed, excited, and turned on.

We have had a good connection so far, I am hoping there is heat when we meet for the first time.  This Friday.  I am nervous, excited, horny, hopeful and trying to just relax.  I am meditating daily and asking the Universe to help me just remain open to the experience, to Him, to who he is, and who he presents himself to me as.  I want to be open to our connection and not compare it to connections of the past.  I don’t know what to expect.

Wish me luck?

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2 thoughts on “Born Again BDSM Virgin

  1. Good luck!
    I met my Master on fetlife. I don’t love the site but it’s a place that you can find someone with the same interests. I’m so happy that you’ve been drawn to ‘Sir’ and I want an update after you meet him! 😉
    By the way, you’re right about the age differences and the abundance of penis pictures. I don’t see that strategy working, but that’s because I’ve never come across a picture of a penis that made me say, ‘I must have that!’

    Like

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